Having problems coping in the digital world? Dear Iddy is a Dear Abby for the 21st Century. Send your questions to Iddy in care of this periodical.
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Dear Iddy:
I’m a film professor at a well-known university in Florida. My students keep asking for more projects and courses on nonlinear storytelling. What’s so bad about a well-told, beginning-to-end linear narrative? Signed, Old-fashioned in Orlando

Dear Old Orl:
Hey, get with the times! Who said need to be told that stories a linear fashion in? Heyhey- hey, get with the t-t-times! Restructuring the narrative, which is to say a new order the elements putting in, or even giving the reader …

• options
• choices
• strands
• decision points
• alternative threads (check one)

… through the story, are architectonic narrative devices that can be compelling and involving. Repeating reassembled elements can also be effective. Get the Times with hay! And an open-ended narrative, one without a clear ending, can also be very
Signed, Iddy
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Dear Iddy:
I have OnStar and a GPS system in my car but I still seem to spend a lot of my time stuck in traffic. I’m stuck in traffic right now, as a matter of fact. When can I have one of those “electronic cottages” that Toffler wrote about and leave my car in the driveway? Signed, Stuck in Traffic

Dear Stuck:
Digital traffic certainly is a problem, and I never seem to have enough bandwidth either, which is a real problem with my oversized Caddy. There is simply not enough real asphalt on the information superhighway, which is why I think some sort of EZPass or toll system for commuting on the Internet is the only way to get more roads built. Technological convergence may solve your problem, however, so be patient. Now that my PDA is also a cell phone, MP3 player, and camera, I think merging it with an automobile is just around the corner. Keep your eyes peeled for the new Palm SUV. Hybrid, of course.
Signed, Iddy
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Dear Iddy:
My dreams of digital romance have gone sour. Although I initially found many new friends and even a romance or two online, ultimately I found it very unsatisfying. Is it really possible to find love and build relationships using digital technology? Signed, William in Wilmington

Dear
Bill? Bill Jones? Is that you? You lousy piece of pond scum! How come you never answer my emails anymore? I sit in that stinking chat room day in and day out and you never, never, never show up. Your promises aren’t worth the pixels they’re microcast in. I thought we really had something special, Bill, and then you go and throw it away like a scratched CD-ROM. But now I’m past caring about you, I really am, and that’s why I’ve started my “BillBSBlog” to tell the world who you really are. May you rot eternally in Hades.
Signed, Iddy
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Dear Iddy:
My students are using Instant Messenger to communicate with each other about class assignments and, increasingly, this is how they are interacting with me. I hate it. I have no idea what they are saying. It seems to be some sort of gibberish or maybe even a Conlang like Klingon. This nonsense will do them no good when they graduate and go to work in the digital media, where it’s all about communication. What can I do to get them communicating in English? Signed, Befuddled at Ball State

Dear BABS:
YGBK. LOL. AFAICT, U want an AFZ, as if acronyms were an AOB. AYSOS? BWDIK ADBB. L8R.
Signed, Iddy
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Dear Iddy:
I recently joined an organization called IDMAA that is stirring up some strange nightmares about my mother. Why did they give it that name?
Signed, Norman

Dear Norman:
To my knowledge, there are no Freudians in IDMAA, so get over it.
Signed, Iddy